How to Choose Your Wedding Party Without Drama — Navigating Relationships Peacefully in Baltimore, Maryland
- crkrone46
- Jul 28
- 5 min read
Weddings are supposed to be fun, exciting, and memorable and not full of drama. As the owner of Montagu Meadows Wedding Venue, a barn event venue located in Westminster, Maryland, I love to see couples enjoy every step of the way in the wedding planning process. When it comes to planning your big day, few decisions feel as personal and potentially emotional as choosing your wedding party. These are the people who will stand beside you, hold your bouquet (and maybe your nerves), and cheer you on through every toast, photo, and dance move. But how do you build a wedding party that supports you without stirring up unnecessary drama?
Here’s how to navigate the process with grace, intention, and peace.
Why Choosing the Right People Matters
Your wedding party isn’t just a checklist item. It’s a reflection of your inner circle. These are the people you trust, who know your heart, and who will support you through one of the most significant days of your life. It’s important to think beyond titles. Ask yourself:
• What is my relationship with this person like?
• How do they get along with others?
• Will they mesh well as a group?
A harmonious wedding party helps set the tone for the entire day. If your chosen group gets along and communicates well, you’ll feel less stress and more joy throughout the journey. Positive energy is contagious.
Envision Your Wedding Vibe
The size and style of your wedding can help guide your decisions:
• Small & Intimate Wedding: Fewer people in the party may make more
sense. This can also help minimize stress and keep the focus on your closest relationships.
• Casual & Laid-Back Wedding: Break the rules! You don’t need matching sides or traditional roles. Choose who you love and let go of formalities.
• Formal & Traditional Wedding: A more structured wedding might call for a balanced number of attendants on each side, especially for the ceremony and photos.
But remember no matter the style, what matters most is the connection and support you feel from your wedding party.
Reflect on Key Relationships
This is the time to take stock of who’s been there for you, not just who’s expected to be. Ask yourself:
• Who has supported me through thick and thin?
• Who do I feel comfortable being vulnerable around?
• Who adds joy to my life, not stress? Who brings out the best in me?
If someone has a track record of stirring up drama, it’s okay to think twice. This day is about your happiness, not managing someone else’s personality.
Consider Alternative Roles
Not everyone has to be a bridesmaid or groomsman to play a meaningful role. If someone is important to you but doesn’t fit into the wedding party dynamic, consider:
• Ceremony readings
• Ushers
• Personal attendants
• Greeters
• Speech givers
• Getting ready crew without the title
This can be a thoughtful way to honor a relationship without compromising your peace.
Communicate Expectations Clearly
Being part of a wedding party is a commitment—emotionally, financially, and logistically. Be upfront about:
• What you’ll need from them (e.g., dress fittings, travel, planning help)
• Any financial expectations (e.g., attire, trips, accommodations)
• The level of involvement you’re hoping for
Honest an upfront communication sets everyone up for success and minimizes resentment later.
Don’t Let Guilt Be Your Guide
This is your wedding, not a social obligation balancing act. You don’t owe anyone a spot in your party just because they were in yours, or because someone “expects it.” Tough choices may ruffle feathers, but they’re often necessary to preserve your emotional wellbeing.
Make decisions from a place of peace, not pressure.
Mixed-Gender Wedding Parties Are Totally Welcome
Your “people” may not neatly fall along gender lines and that’s perfectly okay. Whether it’s a “man of honor,” a “bridesmate,” or a co-ed group of besties, modern weddings are all about authenticity. Let your group reflect who matters most, not just what tradition says.
Factor in Availability
Weddings require time. Consider how available your potential wedding party
members are:
• Are they local or far away?
• Do they have the time to help with planning and events?
• Are they in a season of life where this commitment will feel like a burden?
It’s not about cutting out busy friends but it’s about being realistic and kind to them and yourself.
Everyone Won’t Get It and That’s Okay
Not everyone will understand your choices. And not everyone has to. Your wedding is a celebration of your love, not a performance to please others including friends and family. Choosing a wedding party that feels right to you sets the foundation for a peaceful and joy-filled celebration. It’s about you and your partner.
Focus on love, connection, and the people who lift you up and your wedding day will be better than you ever imagined. So have fun with your loved ones and enjoy every moment!
Our History, Your Love Story – Montagu Meadows, an Historic Barn Wedding Venue in Westminster, MD
Looking for a stunning affordable Maryland barn wedding venue? Consider touring the Historic Montagu Meadows Wedding Venue located in the countryside of Carroll County, MD. Montagu Meadows Wedding Venue offers full-size dream weddings with receptions and intimate/elopement packages. Our Westminster, Maryland barn wedding venue offers a breathtaking setting with a team dedicated to making your wedding day perfect. Montagu Meadows
has stunning gardens and serene water views, creating a picturesque backdrop for unforgettable celebrations. We also proudly support the LGBTQ couples in a warm, inclusive environment. If you are looking for an elegant, rustic, and unforgettable wedding that is pet-friendly, contact us to schedule a tour.
Visit our Website: www.montagumeadows.com
Visit our gallery for additional photos: GALLERY | Montagu Meadows
Visit our intimate wedding ceremony page for package options: ELOPEMENT & INTIMATE WEDDINGS | Montagu Meadows
Email us at: crkrone46@gmail.com
Location: Westminster, MD in Carroll County
Montagu Meadows Wedding Venue happily serves the entire Carroll County, Maryland area which includes Sykesville, Eldersburg, Woodbine, Mount Airy, Taneytown, New Windsor, Union Bridge, Westminster, Manchester, Frizzelburg, Hampstead, Emmittsburg, and Lineboro. We also serve other Maryland Counties: Anne Arundel, Howard, Frederick, Baltimore, Baltimore City, Harford, Montgomery, Prince George’s and Washington and along with Southern Pennsylvania which includes Adams, Lancaster, Franklin and York Counties.
Thank you for reading our wedding blog. We hope you find inspiration and
helpful advice in all our wedding blog posts. Contact us today to start planning your dream wedding and discover how Montagu Meadows Wedding Venue can transform your special day into a warm, romantic, and timeless celebration!
Our Venue, Montagu Meadows Weddings & Events, is a locally owned, family operated business. We encourage couples to learn more about the value and importance of choosing a locally owned business when it is time to book your wedding. We are thrilled to support wedding venue owners from around the country with a weekly shout out in each of our blogs:
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